Chess Beautiful Ladies : Antoaneta Stefanova

Antoaneta Stefanova (Bulgarian: Антоанета Стефанова) (born April 19, 1979) is a Bulgarian chess grandmaster, and a former Women's World Chess Champion. She became the twelfth titleholder in 2004 in a 64-player knockout tournament held in Elista, Kalmykia under the auspices of FIDE. Stefanova's FIDE rating of 2538 on the April 2008 list placed 6th in the world among active female players.

Stefanova was born in Sofia, Bulgaria. Her chess-bound passion was inflamed when she was just four years old and she received first classes on the black-and-white chessboard by her own father, Andon Stefanov, himself a designing artist. With her elder sister, Liana, Antoaneta had made her best mating tandem.

* At the age of seven, Stefanova became a Sofia champion.
* In 1989, Stefanova swept the world chess crown for kids in Aguadilla, Puerto Rico and later the same year triumphed in the under-14 Czech championship.
* Since 1994, Stefanova has successively competed in grandmaster championships, taking even seventh among male nationals in 1993.
* In 1997 Stefanova's FIDE rating broke into the top ten of women worldwide. Also she earned the title of Grandmaster in June 2003, a title held by only ten other women.
* She has played for Bulgaria in five Chess Olympiads so far, starting in Manila, the Philippines, when just 13.
* In 2000, her coach promoted her in the Bulgarian men's team for the Istanbul Olympiad.

"Sexy, self-confident, sociable ... can we be talking about a professional chess player? Yes, we can," says Pergammon Chess where her photo was on the cover.


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Chess Jokes:Chess Nuts funny

During the recent Karpov-Kasparov world chess championships they came to an adjournment and left for their hotel.

In the lobby of the hotel several chess enthusiasts could be heard bragging, "I could beat Karpov with no problem".

"Oh yeah, I could beat both of them at the same time."

"That's nothing, I could beat both of them blindfolded!"

Finally, the hotel manager had had enough and threw them all out of the hotel.

But why?" a bystander asked.

"Because," the manager replied "I hate ..."chess nuts boasting by an open foyer!

Why Michiel Jackson hates to play chess

Why doesn't Michiel Jackson like to play Chess???

Answer: Because he didn't know weither to be Black or White!!

Chess cartoons : Funny Cartoons

Chess Cartoons : Funny Cartoons

Chess cartoon: Funny Cartoon

FIDE is going to open a chess centre with academy and museum in Baku

Baku, Fineko/abc.az. Ceremony of official opening of the World Chess Federation (FIDE) Grand Prix first tournament took place in Baku yesterday. The ceremony that was attended by the FIDE president Kirsan Ilyumzhinov was dedicated to the 85th anniversary of the birthday of the national leader of Azerbaijan, Heydar Aliyev, and led off a range of the Grand Prix tournaments. Within the strategy of opening of chess palaces and centres in capitals of the world FIDE made a proposal to the Azerbaijan Chess Federation for construction of an international chess centre in Baku.

“In case the proposal is received a complex to compose International Chess Academy and Chess Museum can be built in the centre of Baku. This is an investment and commercial project. Investments in the project will be made by both FIDE and organizations co-operating with it (Global Chess, Chess Line, etc). Terms and cost of the construction depend on the proposal and the project that is estimated differently in various countries,” Ilyumjinov said.

In 2009 FIDE is to open such a centre in Yekaterinburg (Russia), Seoul (Republic of Korea) and Kishinev (Moldova).

“We mark high chess potential of Azerbaijan. The country is one of the few ones that is ready to adopt State Chess Development Programme for period until 2013,” Ilyumzhinov said.

The tournament that opened yesterday is due to last until May 6. It gathered 14 Grand Masters from 10 countries and has XIXth (the highest) category of FIDE.

Source : http://abc.az/cgi-bin/wnews_one.cgi?nid=23325&lang=eng

Chess News: Oscar's a chess wizard– at five!

CHESS, said the great Dutch grandmaster Hans Ree, is beautiful enough to waste your life on.

And at the ripe old age of five, it seems this little Calderdale boy is in full agreement.

Oscar Powell, of Charnock Close, Skircoat Green, Halifax, was taught the game by dad Richard just six months ago and since then he's hardly put down his pawns and rooks.

Now the All Saints Junior and Infant School pupil has shown such skill in an after-school league he has qualified for a Yorkshire wide tournament in Sheffield.

And if he wins, he will go on to compete in a northern final in Manchester followed by a possible national final.

Mr Powell said: "It's extraordinary. "We were on holiday in the Dominican Republic and there was a giant chess board.

"I showed Oscar and his brother Harry how to play and it just spiralled. He loved it.

"I can't beat him any more and neither can his granddad – and I'm not just saying that, he's a brilliant strategist, a natural."

The youngster will play other children aged between five and seven before possibly taking part in an open ages competition.

The tournament will be held on June 8.

Chess Funny Jokes : Happy Potter Chess Game -2

BUT ITS NOT FINISHED YET........... THEN THE ORDER SURROUNDS THE REMAINING DEATH EATERS, AND THEY ARE CAPTURED AND PUT IN AZKABAN WITH THE REST OF THE DEATH EATERS. EXCEPT ONE PERSON.


*LUPIN* PULLS CRABBE ASIDE AND I MAKE HIM SAY, "WHERE ARE THE OTHER ORDER MEMBERS?!" CRABBE SAYS, "NO I'LL NEVER TELL YOU!" THEN SIRIUS COMES AND SAYS, "YESS TELL US OR WELL KILL YOU!" "OKAY OKAY." SO CRABBE SET OTHER DEATH EATERS FREE BU THEN I MAKE MR. WEASLEY COME OUT AND SAY, "YOU HURT MY WIFE! AVADA KEDRVA!" AND KILLS CRABBE. LOL. SO THEN MY FRIEND PICKS UP SIRIUS CHESS PIECE AND MAKES HIM SAY, "YOU WERNT SUPPOSSED TO DO THAT. OH WELL." THEN THE ORDER SURROUNDS HARRY, LUPIN AND THE PON THAT SACRIFICE ITSELF AND GO, "YAY!" THEN HARRY WALKS UP TO A STAGE AND THE ORDER GATHERS AROUND LIKE AN AUDIENCE.

HARRY SINGS:
THANK GOODNESS FOR TODAY I COULDNT BE HAPPIER NO I COULDNT BE HAPPIER THOUGH IT IS A ADMIT THE TINIET BIT UNLIKE I ANTICIOATED BUT I COULDNT BE HAPPIER SIMPLY COULDNT BE HAPPIER BECAUSE BTHERES A KINDA A SORT OF..... COST. AND A COUPLE OF THINGS GET...LOST. WHERED GINNY GO? THERES BRIDGES YOU CROSS YOU DIDNT KNOW OUVE CROSSED UNTIL YOUVE CROSSED AND IF THAT JO THA THRILL DOESNT THRILL LIKE YOU THINK IT WIL...GINNY.THEN ONE OF THE PONS (GINNY) WALKS OUT AND GOES UP TO HARRY. AND THEY DANCE TOGETHER AND SING: WITH THIS PERFECT FINALE THE CHEERS AND THE BALLYHO WHO WOULDNT BE HAPPIER SO I COULDNT BE HAPPIER BECAUSE HAPPY IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ALL UR DREAMS COME TRUE!


I know its wierd and sorry for it all being capitilized my computer went wierd...........
Then..... Ginny and Harry make out and Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Weasley make out. Next Harry went on someones shoulders....who just happened to be Dumbledore. But if youve ever put one chess piece on top of another pretending they are people........well...........lets just say if you cant picture it then dont try to, So then he went on Sirius's shoulders.....wow that looked wrong too so.......well just forget about that.....yeah....... Anyway

Chess Funny Jokes : The Harry Potter Chess Game for fun

Me and my aquaintince were playing chess, and we decided to play the part of the Death Eaters and the Order, and my friend was the Order and I was the Death Eaters.

Here were the Order(aquaintince):
King = Dumbledore
Queen = Harry
Castles = Mr. and Mrs. Weasley
Knights = Moody and Tonks
Bishops = Lupin and Sirius
Pons = Insignificant

Here were the Death Eaters:

King = Voldemort
Queen: Snape
Castles: Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy
Knights: Crabbe and Goyle
Bishops: Rookwood and Lenstrange
Pons: Insignificant, one is Wormtail

Now the Game Starts :

1. On my 2nd and 3rd turn, I kill my friends two pons. Yay for Snape!
2. We play for a while and I capture Mrs. Weasley, then Tonks, then Moody.
3. Now my friend takes Goyle, then Rookwood, then Wormtail
4. Alright we are playing more then and I'm singing(Yes im singing and im a death eater!)
Me: "la la la HEY WHY IS GOYLE KISSING WORMTAIL???!!!!" (yes indeed I typed it right but seriously the horse dubbed goyle was kissing the poon wormtail.)
5. Lupin makes a good move and yeah i could of taken him and killed him eaisly but..........
Me: "YOU KNOW BLOODY WELL THAT I CANT KILL LUPIN!!!!! ITS LUPIN!!!!" (i mean really would you kill Lupin?!)
6. Now Harry makes his move. (Me: heh heh i can kill harry yes...)<> 7. Now for me to attack the king.......I quickly surround Dumbledorre with Snape, Mr. Malfoy, and Crabbe. The only one left to guard Dumbledore is Mr. Weasley.
8. Okay everything going normal when.....
Me: "NOW GOYLES KISSING ROOKWOOD!!!!" wow goyles cheating on his wife and on Wormatil. Naughty Naughty!
9. YAY! I capture Haryy Potter! (Mwah haha I killed him) And hes a queen to!
10. My friend takes Lenstange. Hey I dont care I hate her anyway - she pushed Sirius into the veil!
11. My friend's bishop makes a good move but I can kill him mwah ha ha but then........
Me: "DAMN IT I CANT KILL SIRIUS EITHER!!! JERK!!!"
12. My friend throws her tissue at me. -_-
Me: "FREAK! FREAK!"
13. Yes! I finally got Dumbledore at my knees...and by Snape nothenless! So Im chasing Dumbledore around ha ha!
14. Then Dumbledore turns around and kills Snape. (wow i didnt see that coming I was right behind him...)
Me: "SCORE FOR SNAPE! YEAH DUMBLEDORE KILLED HIM!" (yes i know that was one of my pieces but oh well ive still got crabbe and malfoy...)
15. Me: "Wait isnt there some move where you can switch one player with another?" *goes over to dad* "hey cant ou switch player?"
Dad: Yes, when the pon gets all the way to the other side, you can switch it with an piece that has been taken."
16. Two moves later my friend's pon gets to my side of the board. (dang it!) And Harry is ressurected (DANG IT!!) Nooooo!
17. Harry corners Voldemort: checkmate the game is over and the Order won.
18. HEY! THAT PROPHECY THINGY SAID THAT ONE WOULD KILL THE OTHER AND IT CAME TRUE EVEN IN A CHESS GAME! HARRY KILLED VOLDEMORT! BUT DUMBLEDORE'S STILL ALIVE!

Chess BeautifulLadies : Almira Skripchenko

Almira Skripchenko (born 17 February 1976) is a French chess player who has achieved the FIDE Woman Grandmaster title. She won the second European Open Women's Chess Championship in 2001.

She was born in Kishinev (today Chişinău, Moldova). The daughter of pedagogues, both chess coaches, Skripchenko started playing chess when she was 6 years old.

In 1991, Moldova became independent from the Soviet Union. This meant that Skripchenko could take part for the first time in the World Youth Chess Championships. She was soon crowned champion at Under-16 level (1992, Duisburg, Germany) and in 1993, took the bronze at Under-18.

She married French Grandmaster Joel Lautier in 1997 and consequently moved to live in France. Despite separating from Lautier in 2003, she became a French citizen in 2001 and continued to make France her home. Skripchenko then married French Grandmaster Laurent Fressinet and in January 2007, gave birth to a daughter.

In 2001, at 25 years old, she celebrated her biggest success ever, winning the individual ladies European championship. She was at this time chosen "best sportsperson in 2001 in Moldova" and decorated with the Order of National Merit in her native country.

In 2004 she won the North Urals Cup, the second international super-tournament for female chess players. Held in Krasnoturinsk, the 9-round single round robin tournament featured ten of the strongest female players in the world. Skripchenko finished a half point ahead of Maia Chiburdanidze, the former Women's World Champion, and also defeated her in their individual encounter.

Living in Paris and representing France in tournaments since 2002, Skripchenko has become a noted ambassador for the game in Europe. She was the first woman to have competed in the Men's French Individual Championship (2002, 2003). In 2004, 2005 and 2006, she also won the Ladies' French Chess Championship. In team play, she won the French Nationale Chess League with celebrated club side NAO Chess Club (2003, 2004) and the German Chess Bundesliga with Werder Bremen (2005). Her career victories also include three Nationale ladies titles which she earned with Baden-Oos in 2003, 2004, and 2005.

Almira Skripchenko has taken part in several Chess Olympiads (with Moldova, then with France), each time playing on her team's top board. She is also a member of the ACP Board (Association of Chess Players).

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Chess Jokes : Chess Funny Questions

For your own good, for the sake of your loved ones, take e few minutes to determine if you are a chess-o-holic.

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

1. As soon as you are out of bed, you log onto Chessclub.com "just for a quickie".

2. The bottom four links of the intellectual food-chain are fish, potzers, weakies, and "jerks who can’t even play".

3. When with your "most significant other" at that "most significant moment" you yell "Mate! Mate!"

4. In the absence of a most significant other, you fondle your Staunton pieces.

5. Kramnik excites you.
   
   Choose the response which fits you best:
   

6. Gentlemen, you find yourself seated on a bus next to this woman. Do you:

   1. Whip out your best come-on line;

   2. Whip out your little black book and ask the lady why her name’s not in it;

   3. Whip out your pocket-sized Russian dictionary;

   4. Whip out your pocket-sized chess set, push e-4, and growl, "Yer move, grandmaster!"
      

7. Ladies, you find yourself seated on a bus next to this man. Do you:

   1. Whip out your best "come-on-big-boy" look

   2. Whip out your patented pervert-repellent pepper spray;

   3. Whip out your Nikes and run for your life

   4. See above
      

8. The threat of global annihilation via nuclear holocaust:

   1. Is a result of the man above.

   2. Is the result of articles like this.

   3. Is evidence that we are in "End-Times"

   4. What the hell does that have to do with chess?
      

9. Vladimir Nabokov was:

   1. A Russian James Joyce with a dash of Poe in his veins.

   2. A fellow with a taste for unripe fruit.

   3. A butterfly chaser.

   4. Some guy who wrote a book about a nutty chess player.
      

10. Chess is:

    1. A metaphor for truth and beauty.

    2. A mystery all insoluble.

    3. Better than "doing the wild thing."

    4. ________________________(Fill in the blank)
       

Scoring:

• The mere fact that you took this test counts against you: negative 10 points.

• For every "yes" answer you gave, that’s negative another 10, pal.

• For every answer "d" you gave, you know what to do. (By the way, if you answered both questions 6 and 7, you have problems well beyond the scope of this article.)

• If you choose "d" for number 10 and said "Life", please close this web-page and go get one.

Rating:

• -30 to –50: Incipient Chess Addict. Seek professional help now! It’s not too late for you to get into a more healthy, fulfilling lifestyle, such as bungee-cord jumping, crocodile wrestling, or monster-truck fairs!

• -60 to –80: Confirmed Chess Abuser. Buddy, you’re a mess. With bloodshot eyes, you stagger from game to game, loose pawns in your raggedy pockets. You have so many old game-scores lying around your house that you use them for toilet-paper (which you forgot to buy). Do you think your mama had you so you could hit the board like Alekhine hit the bottle? Think it over.

• -90 an up. Ugante: You despise me, don’t you? Rick: If I gave you any thought, I probably would.

Chess Beautiful Ladies : Alexandra Kosteniuk

Alexandra Kostantinovna Kosteniuk (Александра Костенюк) (born April 23, 1984 in Perm, Volga Federal District) is a Russian chess Grandmaster with a FIDE rating of 2515. Her most notable chess achievements include: Becoming female European champion in 2004 by winning the tournament in Dresden, Germany. And in August 2006 she became the first Chess960 (Fischer Random) women world champion after beating Germany's top female player Elisabeth Pähtz 5.5-2.5.

In November 2004, she achieved the International Grandmaster title, becoming the tenth of the eleven women who have received the highest title awarded by the World Chess Federation (FIDE). She also holds the titles of Woman Grandmaster and International Master. She is sixth on the October 2007 FIDE women Elo rating list with a rating of 2515. Kosteniuk won the 2005 Russian Women's Championship, held from May 14 to 26 in Samara, Russia, finishing with a score of +7 =4 -0.

Kosteniuk's mottos have been "chess is cool" and "beauty and intelligence can go together". With these as a backdrop, Kosteniuk has been promoting chess in the capacity of a fashion model and ambassador of chess in order to spark interest in the game around the world.

She is also the host of a popular podcast "Chess is Cool" which informs listeners about Alexandra's life and current chess events.

Alexandra learned to play chess at the age of five after being taught by her father. She also has a little sister named Oxana Kosteniuk, who is a master level chess player.

Kosteniuk is married to Swiss-born Diego Garces, who is of Colombian descent, and 25 years her elder.On April 22, 2007 Alexandra gave birth to a daughter, Francesca Maria. Francesca was born 2 1/2 months premature, but after an 8 week stay in the hospital, has since made full recovery. Alexandra's website, which is maintained by her husband, covers the chess events she is participating in and offers up to date information about her.

Alexandra Kosteniuk Album

Chess Jokes: Chess Picture